Helen Elizabeth (Shetler) Reeder was
born in 1923. She lived through the Great Depression, World War II, the civil
rights movement, the Vietnam War, the space race, and the Cold War. Penicillin,
FM radio, television, nylon, tape recorders, copy machines, the polio vaccine, pocket
calculators, automatic dishwashers, microwave ovens, fluorescent lights, cellophane
tape, felt-tip pens, rock and roll, talking pictures, post-it notes, nuclear
fission, computers, lasers, and sliced bread did not exist when she was born. It’s
difficult to comprehend how much the world changed during her lifetime.
She was born in Colorado, grew up on a
Mennonite farm in Kansas, moved to Idaho to work at J.C. Penney’s, got married,
had six kids, broke off from the Mennonite Church and moved her whole family to
a suburb of Seattle with a horse and a cow in tow.
She painted pottery and played piano
and made dolls and wrote stories and wrote plays and sang in a touring choir
and cooked the most delicious food and traveled all over the country and compiled
family trees and worked as a bookkeeper and she was still keeping up on her Facebook
account well into her 90’s.
But more important to her than any of
that was her family. She grew up with ten sisters and brothers. She had six
children of her own and then had twenty-one grandchildren and thirty-one
great-grandchildren. And when she sat down with any of them, one of her
favorite things to do was tell stories.
Travis Reeder, grandson: She was
so bright. She remembered the red dust coming and settling on everything in the
house, and then selling butter with her dad to make ends meet. It was like
talking to a time traveler.
Brooke Haney, granddaughter: Her storytelling
was the best.
Helen Elizabeth (Shetler) Reeder was
born in 1923 and the only way to do her story justice is to tell it in her own
words and the words of the family who loved her.
The Life of Helen Elizabeth (Shetler)
Reeder
 |
Helen at her wedding in 1944 |
Her father was Milton P. Shetler, born
in Pennsylvania in 1891 and raised in Iowa. Her mother was Ada Mae (Miller)
Shetler, born in Missouri in 1892. They were both members of the Mennonite
Church.
 |
Milton P. Shetler & Ada Mae Miller at their wedding, 1915 |
Helen Reeder: [Ada] was
a good seamstress so was hired by various families to come and sew for them. As
a young woman, she was asked to come to Iowa to sew and she stayed there for a
while sewing for a number of families in the Kalona community. While there, she
met Milton Shetler whom she later married. She was 23 years old at the time of
their marriage.
 |
Milton and Ada's marriage license |
Milton and Ada were married in
Missouri on October 7, 1915.
Garden City Views (newspaper, date
unknown): On the evening of October 7th, 1915, at the beautiful
country home of Mr. and Mrs. Levi J. Miller, near Garden City, occurred the
marriage of their daughter, Ada Mae, to Milton P. Shetler, of Kalona, Iowa.
Leland Shetler, brother: [On] Oct. 7, 1915, [Milton]
married Ada Miller at Garden City, Missouri. They went to La Junta, Colo. on honeymoon
and decide to stay. [In] 1916, [they] rented a farm near (1/2 mile N. & 1/4 mile W.) Cheraw, Colo.
The U.S. Census, taken in February,
1920, shows Milton and Ada living in Otero County, Colorado, with their son,
Leland, and daughter, LaVerne.
 |
Detail of 1920 Census
|
Leland Shetler, brother: [In] 1921, [Milton] rented the farm and worked on Menn. Pub. House, Scottdale, Pa.
Helen Reeder: [My
parents] bought a farm near Cheraw, Colorado and their first three children
were born there. Then the Mennonite Church began building a Publishing House in
Scottdale, Pennsylvania and since Milton was an experienced carpenter, they
rented out the farm and moved to Pennsylvania for a time where he helped in the
construction. Ada cooked for the workmen.
Leland Shetler, brother: [In] 1922, [Milton] moved to Colorado Springs, CO. Worked for the school board.
Helen Reeder: When they
returned to Colorado, they allowed their renters to remain on the farm for
another year while they went to Colorado Springs to live.
Colorado Springs city directories for
1922 and 1923 show Milton and Ada living at 2412 W. Platte Avenue, and list
Milton as a carpenter. The city directory for 1924 lists Milton as a laborer
and shows that the family had now moved to 3018 W. Kiowa Street.
 |
Detail of 1922 Colorado Springs city directory |
 |
Detail of 1923 Colorado Springs city directory |
 |
Detail of 1924 Colorado Springs city directory |
Helen Reeder: I was born
on August 14, 1923, the fourth of eleven children, at 3018 W. Kiowa Street,
Colorado Springs, Colorado. The house is still in use as a residence. It was
here, as a baby, that I had scarlet fever and from it an abscess the size of an
egg developed on my forehead.
Helen Reeder (in conversation with granddaughter
Brooke Haney, 2020): You know, this illness that’s going around,
it has brought to my mind what my mother told me… See, I’m the fourth in the
family, so I had two brothers and a sister older than me but we were all little
kids. And she said how it seemed that one disease after the other came along
that winter.
And so that’s when I got scarlet fever
at one point. I was the baby. Up here on my forehead, I have a scar where there
had been a big lump that was full of pus and stuff that had gathered there. And
at that time, the doctors came to the house…and he wanted to drain it. And he
put silver, I think it was silver she said, but anyway, some kind of wires in
it, opened it up, and put those tubes in there to keep it draining.
And she told me how one night my fever
got so high and I was just the baby, I wasn’t even two years old, I don’t know
if I was one year old or not, but anyway, she said my fever was so high, I was
so fussy, and she said she stayed up all night keeping wet cloths, trying to
keep my temperature down, cool cloths, you know, with water… And she said she
stayed up all night. And when the doctor came the next morning to check on me,
he told her that she saved my life that night when she stayed up doing that
because of the temperature I was running and everything, why I probably would have
died…
It could have been the winter of ’24…you
know, I would guess, ‘cause I was just a baby… And in those days, if a family
got some kind of a disease that was catching to others…they put a quarantine
sign on your door outside, so people would know not to come into that house. So
we were quarantined there. But my Dad was working at the school…he was a
carpenter and he could do things like that. But he couldn’t come home and live
at home there and then go to school, so Mom says how he would bring groceries
for the family and leave them at the backyard fence so she could pick them up
there, but he couldn’t come in. Isn’t that interesting?
Brooke: Yeah, that feels so much like
how people right now are dropping off groceries on doorsteps and stuff.
Yes, it makes me think of it so much
when she told me about that. And that’s the year I had scarlet fever but I had
others that same winter, I guess, and I wasn’t the only one, I guess, of us
four kids. There was a lot of it. And I think one of the boys that year got
whooping cough and mumps at the same time. Can you imagine what that might have
been like?... Oh dear. Anyway, times sure have changed, but this virus that’s
going around and all that’s happening, I have to think about that time. Even
when I was old enough to remember things, I know they used to put quarantine
signs on the house if they had a disease that was catching to warn people not
to go in.
In 1923, Helen’s mother sewed her a
hat made of beaver fur to keep her warm during the winter. Helen held on to the
hat for ninety years, and then, in 2015, sent it to her great-granddaughter,
her namesake, Lenore Elizabeth Reeder.
Leland Shetler, brother: [In] Jan.
1925, [the family] moved back to their farm 3 miles east of Cheraw, Colo.
The Colorado Springs city directory for
1925 no longer shows an address for the Shetler family, but still lists Milton
as a repairman for the City Schools.
 |
Detail of 1925 Colorado Springs city directory |
Helen Reeder: The
family moved to a farm at Cheraw, Colorado before I was 2 years old. Water was
scarce in eastern Colorado. The water for domestic use was from rain water
stored in cisterns. When there was little rain, it was necessary to haul water
from an artesian well that was just outside Cheraw. It was hauled in a large
tank mounted on a wagon pulled by horses. Water was never wasted. For baths,
water had to be heated on the kitchen stove and was not changed for the next
person. After baths, the same water would be used to mop the floors before
taking it outside to water the flower beds.
Travis Reeder, grandson: She talked
a bit about not having electricity and only a hand pump for water and going out
to the outhouse in the snow… Part of that story is bath time. You take the
washtub and boil kettle after kettle of water until you get the washtub full.
Everyone is doing farm work long hours and it's cold outside. With so many
siblings, it was quite a contentious debate as to who got to go first for
bath-time. If you were last, the water was cool and quite muddy. And I think it
all happened in the kitchen or living room. I also believe she said they took turns.
Of course, they washed dishes and clothes in pretty much the same way.
Braeden Crain, granddaughter: I would
say her favorite [story] to tell, one that she repeated even as her dementia
started to set in was the one about her as a tiny little girl, maybe two or
three. She was climbing up on something, a stool or a chair or table. And her
mom or one of her brothers said, “Now be careful Helen, you might fall,” and
she responded with, “No I won’t might!” Every time she told that story, she
laughed her beautiful laugh. She got such a kick out of it.
Helen Reeder: My first
grade of school was at the Cheraw Consolidated School and we rode the bus. The
bus was crowded and the small children sat on the laps of the older students. I
remember sitting on the lap of a high school girl who always smelled so good.
Later, I discovered that the delicious smell was bubble gum!
My parents were members of the Old
Mennonite Church and we always attended Sunday School and church.
In 1928, Helen took her first train
trip, with her mother and her younger brothers, Eldon and Floyd, to Hubbard,
Oregon, to visit Ada’s older sister, Carrie Alice (Miller) Kropf.
Leland Shetler, brother: [In] May
1928, [the family] purchased used 1926 Buick open touring car. [In] July 1928, Ada
and 3 youngest made train trip to Hubbard, OR. to visit sister.
 |
Helen in 1929 |
The U.S. Census, taken in April, 1930,
shows Helen living in Otero County, Colorado, with her parents, six siblings,
and Alice P. Miller (Allie Pearl Miller, Ada’s unmarried sister, a teacher at
Cheraw Public Schools).
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Detail from 1930 US Census |
Helen Reeder: The
winter of 1930-31, [my parents] sold the farm and moved to Hesston, Kansas
where a Mennonite High School/Bible School/Jr. College was located. Just before
leaving the farm, a huge blizzard hit Colorado and the farm implements had to
be dug out from snow drifts so the sale of equipment could be held. At the time
of the move, there were seven children in the family. Four more would be born
in Kansas.
Leland Shetler, brother: [In] Spring,
1930, [Milton and Ada] traded farm for large two-story house on ten acres at
Hesston, KS. With the proviso of farming the farm the 1930 year. [In] Jan. 1931,
[they] moved to Hesston, KS. With pony riding on running board of car.
Travis Reeder, grandson: There's
the [story] about moving…and they attached a large running board to the side of
the car. They enlarged the running board so they could put a horse on it. And
the horse rode that way to their next place.
Helen Reeder: In
mid-term of my second grade, we moved to Hesston, Kansas, which was
predominantly a Mennonite community and where a Mennonite school for grades
9-12 plus 2 years of college was located.
Some memories of that move to Kansas
are the deep snow drifts we drove through leaving Colo. And the Shetland pony that
rode on the side of our car in a special crate my father had built on the running
board on the passenger side. It must have been a unique sight to see a family
with 7 children plus luggage in a car with a pony on the side.
Shortly after moving to Kansas, Helen wrote
a letter to “Words of Cheer,” a periodical for children produced by Mennonite
Publishing House in Scottdale, Pennsylvania, the same publisher her father had worked for briefly in 1921 and 1922.
Lancaster Mennonite Historical Society
(website, retrieved Sep. 12, 2020): Words of Cheer was a Mennonite
periodical published for children… The paper contained stories, articles,
poems, puzzles, and children’s letters. Most children who wrote letters were
between about six years to early teen years. Besides sending greetings to other
readers, children gave simple information about themselves, their family, their
school, their church, and, sometimes, their local community. Letter writers
would tell their age and birth date and would invite others who had the same or
a near birth date to write to them. Many friendships were thus launched.
Her letter was published in the Jan. 3,
1932 issue.
Helen Reeder (letter dated Nov. 15,
1932): Dear Readers of the Words of Cheer. This is my first letter to
this little paper. I am a girl 8 years old. My birthday is August 14. We live
in town. We have 10 acres. I have 5 brothers and 1 sister. Their names are Leland,
Ralph, Floyd, Eldon, Walter Lee, and LaVerne. We have a Shetland pony for a
pet. We have about 200 chickens, 1 cow and 2 pigs. We moved here almost a year
ago from Colorado. I like to live here. Leland goes to Hesston College. I am in
the third grade. My teacher’s name is Miss Corinna Yoder. I go to S. S. every
Sunday I can. My S. S. teacher is Miss Lela Stutzman. I raised cow pumpkins for
mission money. Last Sunday we went out to the woods and had a “wiener” roast.
It surely is nice out there. The leaves are so pretty now. I believe this is
the nicest month of the year. Your friend, Helen Shetler.
She spent the summer of 1932 in Garden
City, Missouri with Ada’s parents and her Aunt Allie (Allie Pearl Miller, Ada’s
younger sister).
Helen Reeder: I was a
skinny kid, always underweight by at least 10 lbs. My brothers called me
“telephone pole” and said I had “toothpick legs”. Aunt Allie, who was an
unmarried school teacher, decided to take me home with her to Grandpa Miller’s
in Missouri one summer where she was sure she could fatten me up. She gave me
warm milk to drink directly from the cow at milking time and I hated it. I had
never liked milk very well but this made it worse. I was there 6 weeks and went
home still skinny. One of my delights while there was to comb my grandmother’s
hair. She had very curly, white hair. The curls were a curse to her but I loved
them. This was the summer after my 3rd grade.
 |
Helen's grandparents, Levi Miller and Mattie Zook, 1939 |
In 1933 or 1934, Aunt Allie returned to
Missouri and married Jacob Kauffman on September 2, 1934.
The Great Depression had likely
necessitated the family’s move to Kansas, and with the onset of the Dust Bowl,
times got even harder.
Leland Shetler, brother: c.1933, with
depression in full force, [Milton] established a weekly meat route in Newton KS
and sharpened saws and scissors door to door.
Helen Reeder: The years
ahead in Kansas were not good. In 1934-35 there was severe drought. It got so
dry that a network of cracks appeared in the ground, some getting as much as an
inch wide. Children going barefoot could stub a toe in them. Dust storms were
common. Ada was bothered with hay fever and asthma and she suffered from the
dust. The drought caused the Great Depression which had hit in 1929 to worsen.
Travis Reeder, grandson: I think
she lived in Kansas in '34 right when the first dust waves came in, though it
might have been one of the later drought years. Anyway, she described it as red,
and settling inside the house over everything, and being quite a chore to
clean.
Helen Reeder: Milton tried
various ways to support the family. He did carpenter work, butchered and sold
meat on a “meat route,” went from farm to farm sharpening saws and scissors,
and bought a baler to bale straw. Ada, too, did what she could. She raised
chickens and sold eggs, sewed all the clothes for the family, often from used
clothing which she tore apart and re-made. Underclothes such as panties and
slips were sewed from cotton sacks that chicken feed or flour had come in
although it was impossible to completely wash out the trademark. She repaired
the shoes, often working late into the night tacking leather soles or rubber
heels on worn-out shoes.
Travis Reeder, grandson: I know
she sold butter with her dad. Butter that they made. I'm not sure if they sold
it door to door or delivery, but she mentioned driving around town with just
her and him delivering the butter to people's houses.
Helen Reeder: The years
my father had a meat route as a business, I was probably 10-12 years old, and
it was my job to go with him and help by knocking on doors. Early each week, he
butchered either a beef or pork, cut it up into steaks, roasts, made hamburger
or sausage, etc., then packaged it and loaded it into the pickup on which he
had built a homemade canopy. On Saturday morning, we would drive to the big
city of Newton (8 miles away) and go house to house offering meat for sale. He
taught me the correct way to make change and this experience benefited me
throughout life.
Normally, my Dad was impatient and
harsh, but my most pleasant memories with my Dad were these Saturday mornings.
He was kind and considerate. We usually finished by noon and headed home, but
occasionally we would go to a café for lunch where I learned that a hot beef
sandwich was served on a plate with hot gravy and mashed potatoes. Another time,
we stopped at a drug store and I had my first strawberry soda. When we arrived
home and I told about it, my mother was upset that we had been so extravagant.
No wonder, when she was allowed so little to buy groceries for our large
family! It was also on the way home from the meat route that my dad taught me
to drive.
Throughout this difficult period,
Helen and the other ten children always relied on their mother to get them through.
Ruth (Shetler) Stutzman, sister: Our mother
was a good mother. She worked hard to keep us warm and fed. She also would sing
songs to us when we were just babies. Then as we grew older, she would read
Bible stories to us in the evenings before we went to bed. I learned a lot
about the Bible and Jesus and how much He loved us. I also learned that He
wanted us to be happy and good.
Helen Reeder: I remember
my mother as a very innovative and resourceful person. We children have all
benefited from her by learning to think this way.
Whenever any of us needed or wanted
anything, she would often say, “Well, we don’t have the money to buy it, so
let’s try to find something we can make it from.” I remember one time as a
young girl, I needed a new Sunday dress. I recall that my mother opened the old
trunk, took out her wedding dress, dyed it pink, and made me the dress I
needed. At the time, I somehow knew it was a “special” dress, but I did not
understand until much later the cost of this dress to her personally. So “new”
clothes were made from old ones, flour sacks provided material for
underclothes, a shoe that had a worn-through sole was repaired with another
piece of leather, toys were made from anything our imaginations provided. One
time, to participate in the local holiday parade, my brothers made an entry
from some old wagon or tricycle wheels, wood scraps, and cardboard boxes to
create a train, and won first prize! Another year, they used a coaster wagon
and scraps from around the house to build a covered wagon and again won a
prize.
LaVerne (Shetler) Horst, sister: We both
grew up in a very different world. We did not have electricity or water piped
into the house. We carried our water in and carried it out. So we often talked
about the “good old days.” We had play houses made with sticks and strings. We
cut our dolls out of the Wards and Sears catalogs plus all the clothes and
furniture. We visited each other in our houses and had to come in the door. No
stepping over the walls. When we got older, we made us some housecoats out of taffeta.
What fun to walk and hear them swishing as we walked.
Travis Reeder, grandson: The
first [story] I ever remember her telling me (I was maybe 5 or so) about
growing up poor. I think she was looking at some toys I got for Christmas.
Anyway, she described receiving a doll. Her siblings glued yarn for hair and
buttons for eyes to a discarded tin can! She also made these for her siblings.
I believe the boys would get stilts by poking holes through two tin cans and
tying twine for handles.
Helen Reeder: To get us
all to eat our vegetables, [Mom] would include vegetables from her garden
whenever possible in our meals. As we were eating, she would very
enthusiastically tell us, “Oh, these fresh veggies (radishes, onions, cabbage,
eggplant, spinach, etc.) are SO good,” “I doubt if we’ve ever had such good
tasting vegetables,” “My, these are wonderful!” We would decide we certainly
did not want to miss out on such great food so we would try them. When I was in
the third grade, the teacher asked us each to name a vegetable we did not like
to eat. I felt embarrassed because I could not think of even one! Mom’s enthusiasm
must have taken root in my taste buds.
Wanda Coleen Lee, daughter: Her love
for vegetables was contagious. She would cook up veggies I wasn’t a fan of when
I was a little girl. She would get this gleam in her eye, and say, "oh
yum, this is gonna be so good!!"
Ada was a firm believer in the
teachings of the Mennonite Church, and she passed her faith on to her children,
who relied on it during these difficult years.
Helen Reeder: At the
age of 13, I accepted the Lord Jesus as my Savior and was baptized in the
Hesston Mennonite Church. In the Mennonite church, when a girl was baptized,
she began wearing the “prayer head covering,” a small cap made of white net,
and from that time on would never attend a church service or prayer time
without it. The teaching is based on their interpretation of I Corinthians 11.
Unfortunately, my understanding at that time was that to please and follow the
rules of the church was the way to please and serve God. Therefore, although I’m
sure God accepted me at that time as His child, I had no joy or personal
relationship with Him. This was to come much later.
In addition to sharing her faith and
her innovative spirit with her children, Ada also shared her abiding love for
music.
Lois (Shelter) Decker, sister: [Our
mother] read her children stories, especially from Bible story books. She made
sure to take them to church every Sunday and she taught them about God. The
thing she liked to do MOST, though, was sing! She often sang as she went about
her work cleaning the house, ironing, cooking, and sewing.
I learned to love music from the many
times my brothers and sisters and Mother, Ada Mae, would stand around the piano
after church on Sunday evenings singing hymns and gospel songs for hours. How I
loved those times!
Helen Reeder: Our Kansas
home was a large two-story house on 10 acres at the edge of town with no running
water and no inside bathroom. We had a “parlor” which was never heated unless
we were having company. The old pump organ was in the parlor, so to play the
organ in the winter, we would bundle up in sweaters and play until our hands
got too cold. The family often gathered around that organ on Sunday evenings
after church and sang while LaVerne played. Aunt Allie had paid for LaVerne to
take piano lessons. I took LaVerne’s books and followed through them to learn
to play.
By teaching herself piano, she was already
showing the instincts for curiosity and self-learning that she would hold onto
her entire life.
Ruth (Shetler) Stutzman, sister: As we grew
older, we would gather around the old pump organ, one of the older sisters
would play and we would all sing songs together. Sometimes, it was difficult
for Mom to get us to quit and go to bed because we loved singing so much!
Helen Reeder: While
growing up at home, we all had work to do. I loved to cook, but sometimes, when
I had the food in the pan on the stove cooking, I would disappear to the old
pump organ and play a few tunes. Soon, the sound of the pot boiling or the smell
of burning food from the oven would send me scurrying to the kitchen. Then Mom
would reprimand me by saying, “You can’t cook from the living room! You must
stay on the job.”
Despite the difficulties of the
Depression and the Dust Bowl, the family tried to focus on the good times. One
of their favorite holidays was May Day.
Helen Reeder (in conversation with granddaughter
Brooke Haney, 2020): I can remember when I was in grade school,
we’d give May Day bouquets to our neighbors or something. Well, I remember when
I was in…the seventh or eighth grade, there was a boy, a neighbor boy there in
my class, that we kind of, we didn’t get together in that age, but I kind of
liked him and I knew he kind of liked me.
Brooke: You had a little crush?
Yeah. He brought a May Day basket to
my door… I just remember that ‘cause I felt so special. And he didn’t, you know…he
wasn’t there, but I was pretty sure he was the one that brought it. I guess I
probably asked him at school the next day. I say my memory’s bad, but there are
certain things that are so sharp yet. I wish the things I needed to know would
stay that way. Oh dear. I have a problem in my own kitchen taking dishes out of
the dishwasher to be sure I know where they all belong.
Helen was always proud of her achievements
at school, although her learning was interrupted on several occasions.
Helen Reeder: The grade
school was ½ to ¾ mile from our home and we walked to school—pleasant in the
fall and spring but often bitterly cold in the winter. I can recall some
mornings when arriving at school, the kindly old janitor would take me to the
girls’ rest room and put my hands in cool water to help thaw out my fingers. I
liked school and did well in my studies, especially math and spelling. Several
years, I earned the right to compete in the all-county spelling bee and in the
7th grade placed 4th in the county, receiving a small
bronze medal.
The grade school at Hesston was a public
school, but the public high school was in the next town. We never considered
attending anywhere other than the Mennonite high school which was located at
Hesston. It was called Hesston College and Bible School. The campus included
both girls’ and boys’ dorms and Mennonite youth came from all over the United
States to attend.
Since we lived within ½ mile of the
school, my mother sometimes did laundry for students and several years, we had student
boarders. This provided money to help pay the tuition for us. We children were
also expected to earn what we could. So it was decided that the first year
after our 8th grade, we would stay out of school one year to help. I
had been in fierce competition for top grades with several in my class through
the 7th and 8th grades, and I could hardly stand to see
them go ahead into the 9th grade while I stayed at home. Especially
since we had a student boarder that year which would provide the funds. But my
parents felt it would be unfair to let me go when the others before me had
stayed out a year. So I started the 9th grade one year later.
As it turned out, my father left home
at the end of my 9th grade and I had to go to work and so missed
another year before continuing.
Leland Shetler, brother: c.1936,
[Milton] purchased a new Ann Arbor baler and a used 1933 Ford truck and started
straw business. [In] May 1939, [Milton] separated from his wife, Ada, and his
family. [In] 1940, [he] moved to Los Angeles, CA, and worked as a carpenter.
Helen Reeder: Their
marriage had been rocky from the beginning and finally, in 1939, as the financial
pressures mounted, the marriage fell apart. Milton took the truck and his
carpenter tools. Ada had the home, heavily mortgaged and delinquent taxes, the
baler, and 10 children to care for. Leland, the oldest, was no longer at home
and Lois, the youngest, was just 9 months old.
Ada was not in good health, but she
had a strong faith in God. At that time, she asked the Lord to give her the
health she needed and she covenanted to stay with the children and care for
them until grown. God beautifully answered that prayer and restored her health
so she was able not only to care for all the children, but to care for herself
all her life.
As always, Ada was the rock that held
the family together. But even with her health and her faith supporting her, the
family’s financial situation looked bleak.
Helen Reeder: We were
always poor but we children had lots of fun together. There were enough of us
to play games of all kinds and often friends came to play with us. It wasn’t
until my Dad left home that I felt ashamed of our situation. Separation and
divorce was unheard of in our community and Mennonite culture, so it was a
disgrace. Now we were not just poor, but nearly destitute, and were the recipients
of boxes of food and used clothes.
The only option for the family’s survival
was for the older children to leave school and join the workforce.
Helen Reeder: I was
hired out to a judge’s family in Newton [Kansas, 8 miles away] as a “live-in”
maid. They had two girls, 3 and 4 years old. I was to be their nursemaid as well
as do the house cleaning, cooking, and serving. A negro lady came in to do laundry.
Here, I learned to set a table properly and how to serve a meal in courses. The
children and I ate in the kitchen. I was 15 years old and did not know how to
do many things. I had off one afternoon each week as well as every other
week-end, Saturday night to Sunday night. In between, I was terribly homesick.
My wages, as I recall, were about $7.00 per week.
The Kansas Census, taken in March,
1940, show Ada living in Hesston, Harvey County, Kansas, with a total of 11 persons
living at the address, presumably Ada and 10 of her children.
 |
1940 Kansas Census |
The U.S. Census, taken in April, 1940,
show Helen living in Hesston, Harvey County, Kansas, with her mother and nine
siblings. The record indicates that Helen was not attending school and that her
oldest sister, LaVerne, age 21, was working as a hospital maid. A few months
later, LaVerne was married to Frank Horst.
 |
Detail of 1940 US Census |
Helen Reeder: My mother
used to keep a couple hives of bees and she took care of them herself. We
children were always amazed when she got dressed in MEN'S COVERALLS to go out
to take care of the bees. (Nice women didn't wear men's clothing in those
days!) On the day just before my sister's wedding, Mom got stung on her face quite
badly and one eye was swollen shut! She worked hard all the next day putting
ice packs on to try to get looking a little bit like normal in time for the
wedding that evening!
The family was still struggling to
maintain the large farm with only one parent on hand.
Helen Reeder: Two or
three years later [after Milton’s departure], Ada sold the place where they
were living and bought an adjoining, smaller place which enabled her to get out
of debt. The children worked and brought their money home.
After one year as a live-in maid, the
family’s financial situation had recovered enough that Helen was able to return
home and resume her schooling. She also found a job that allowed her to use the
skills she had learned while working the door-to-door sales route with her
father.
Helen Reeder: The
following year, to pay tuition at school, I was given a job in the school
office selling books and supplies and doing general office work. This job helped
me pull out of my inferiority complex enough that I quit stuttering, which I
had done for some years. I took typing and bookkeeping courses that year and
continued in the school office. In my senior year, I was the school bookkeeper
and earned my own expenses plus some of my brother, Floyd’s.
 |
Hesston College Academy Sophomores, 1941 |
Throughout high school, I did not have
time for much extra-curricular, but did sing in the ladies’ choir and a ladies’
quartet. This gave me the opportunity to go on a choir tour each spring as well
as several smaller tours called gospel teams. We traveled through a number of
the central and eastern states. I especially remember seeing the Five Great
Lakes and Niagara Falls.
 |
Hesston College Ladies' Chorus, 1941 |
 |
Hesston College Mixed Touring Chorus, 1941 |
Her love for travel was already
becoming evident. While she was on tour with the choir, she sent her brother
Walter an unusual postcard.
 |
Postcard on birch bark sent by Helen, 1941 |
Helen Reeder (postcard from Erie,
Pennsylvania, dated April 18, 1941): Dear Walter, I am writing this on a
piece of birch bark that we peeled from the tree in Michigan. It is rather hard
to write on. This afternoon, we are going to see the largest zeppelin. It is at
Akron, Ohio. Yesterday, we saw Niagara Falls. They surely are beautiful. We
have seen three of the five Great Lakes. Lake Michigan, Lake Huron and Lake
Erie. Lake Huron was much the prettiest. We didn’t have any trouble at all
crossing the line. We didn’t even need our birth certificates. I am bringing
four Canadian pennies along for you boys. I did have a nickel too, but I used
it. Don’t destroy this card. I’ll be home in about a week. Love, Helen.
The Kansas Census, taken in March,
1942, shows Ada living in Hesston, Harvey County, Kansas, and a total of 10 persons
living at the address, presumably Ada and 9 of her children.
 |
Kansas Census, 1942 |
In the fall of 1942, as Helen began
her senior year of high school, she briefly crossed paths with someone who would
be a major part of her life for the next seventy years.
Charles Reeder: When I was
17 [in 1941/42], the folks bought 40 acres and we moved again [to a farm in
Filer, Idaho.] That summer [1942], I irrigated for a farmer, Ken Watson, east
of Filer. In the fall, I went off to Hesston, Kansas, to the Mennonite School
to begin my 11th grade. To help pay expenses, I worked as the night
man at the Ford garage in Hesston. I had a room right in the garage.
 |
Charles Reeder, 1942 |
Charles Reeder and his sister,
Juanita, lived and studied at Hesston College during the 1942-43 school year,
both high school juniors. Charles turned 18 on June 11, 1942.
 |
Hesston College Academy Juniors, 1943 Charles in the lower left, Juanita in the upper right |
Charles Reeder: But World
War II was on and young men were being drafted. In the middle of the year, I
had to go home to work on the farm, for farming was considered work of national
importance and the draft board deferred me to work for Dad for one year. This
ended my formal schooling for I never went back.
Ron Reeder, son: Dad (I
think) was drafted at the start of the war, but registered as a conscientious
objector. He told me that he wanted to register as a non-combatant, but his Dad
objected, so he registered as a CO. That’s why he served in the VA Hospital and
the Forest Service.
Charles Reeder left Hesston College
midway through the school year. His sister, Juanita, presumably left at the
same time or at the end of the 1942-43 school year, for she is not included in
the Hesston College yearbook the following year.
In 1942, Helen submitted a story she
had written to “Words of Cheer,” the periodical that had published her letter
in 1932. Her story, entitled, “Who Told The Truth,” was about a schoolgirl
named Kathy who takes part in a spelling contest and learns a lesson about friendship
and perseverance. The story appeared in the October 18, 1942 issue.
Ellrose D. Zook, Mennonite Publishing House (letter dated Oct. 2, 1942): Dear Sister Shetler: Enclosed please find the issue of the Words of Cheer containing the story which you wrote for publication. Thank you for this story and its message, and we trust that it will be of help to many boys and girls who are attending school.
The Kansas Census, taken in March,
1943, shows Ada living in Hesston, Harvey County, Kansas, and a total of 11 persons
living at the address. Some of her children may have moved back home or perhaps
they had taken in another relative or a boarder. Agricultural Statistics
included with the 1943 Kansas Census show that the family had 3 “Cows Milked
All or Part of Last Year” and 150 “Chickens Raised Last Year”. By the time of
the 1944 Kansas Census, the total number of persons living at this address was
8.
 |
Kansas Census, 1943 |
 |
Kansas Census Agricultural Statistics, 1943 |
 |
Kansas Census, 1944 |
In the Spring of 1943, at age 19, Helen
graduated from Hesston College Academy.
 |
Graduation Photo, 1943 |
 |
Hesston College Academy Seniors, 1943 |
The Lark, Hesston College Journal of 1943,
Academy Senior Pictures: Helen Shetler, Kansas. Ladies’ Chorus,
Quartette. Efficient bookkeeper, a quiet personality, believes that actions
speak louder than words, “perseverance wins”.
 |
Hesston College Ladies' Chorus, 1943 |
She decided on an out-of-state summer
job after high school, with plans to return to Hesston in the fall and begin
college. But once again, family obligations interrupted her education, this time
for good.
Ron Reeder, son: Mom moved
to Idaho to work for the summer. She went to work for J. C. Penney’s. She had
planned to go back to Kansas in the fall but Penney’s would only hire if she
agreed to stay through winter.
She had family in Idaho, and was also
likely acquainted with Juanita Reeder, her classmate from the previous school year.
Helen Reeder: After
graduation in 1943, I went to Idaho where some of my mother’s family lived. I got
a job at the J.C. Penney Co. in Twin Falls as cashier, and shared an apartment
with my cousin, Leta Miller, and Juanita Reeder. That summer I got well
acquainted with Juanita’s brother, Charles, and decided to stay in Idaho rather
than return to Kansas and begin college.
Ron Reeder, son: She lived
with Dad’s sister Juanita… Dad (I think) lived upstairs, because she would hear
him whistling when he came downstairs and she liked that.
Charles Reeder: That year [1943],
I bought a 1934 Chevrolet school bus, took the bus body off, and made a bed to
haul sugar beets. I hauled Dad’s beets and did some trucking for other farmers.
Dad didn’t have a big enough operation
to keep me deferred so I went to work for another farmer, Orville Sackett, and
was given another deferment. Here I milked cows and did farm work with horses
as well as tractor.
I started courting a cute, brown-eyed
girl named Helen Shetler.
The early lives of Helen Shetler and
Charles Reeder intersected in so many ways, it seemed strange that they hadn’t known
each other before.
Charles was born in Cheraw, Colorado,
in June 1924, and lived there until 1935. Helen lived in Cheraw from January
1925 through January 1931.
Charles and Helen both attended
Hesston College in the fall of 1942.
But finally, in Filer, Idaho, Charles
and Helen met, and Charles courted Helen. They fell in love and got married.
Charles Reeder: Sold my
truck to Dad and bought a 1935 Pontiac car. While still working for Sackett,
Helen and I were married.
Helen Reeder: In July
of 1944, Charles and I were married and Idaho became our home.
 |
Charles and Helen Reeder wedding photo, 1944 |
 |
Charles and Helen Reeder wedding photo, 1944 |
 |
Charles and Helen Reeder wedding announcement |
 |
Charles and Helen Reeder marriage license |
 |
Wedding announcement in the Twin Falls Times-News |
Twin Falls Times-News, July 7, 1944: In a
garden setting at the A. H. Reeder home, near Filer, Miss Helen Shetler,
daughter of Mrs. Ada Shetler, Heston, Kan., and Charles Reeder, son of Mr. and
Mrs. A. H. Reeder, exchanged nuptial vows at an 8 a.m. ceremony Thursday, July
6.
The bridal party stood before a rose-covered
arched gateway as the wedding ceremony was read by the Rev. Samuel Honderick of
the Filer East Mennonite church.
The bride wore a white crepe street
length dress with a pink rosebud corsage. Miss Juanita Reeder, maid of honor,
was gowned in pink crepe. Her corsage was of gardenias. Leo Miller acted as
best man.
Wedding music, which included “Oh,
Perfect Love,” “Oh, Happy Home,” and “May the Grace of Christ Our Saviour” was provided
by a quartet composed of Mrs. Joe Miller, Miss Leta Miller, Clifford Slatter
and Robert Miller.
The 30 guests were served refreshments
at the reception which followed the ceremony. A three-tiered wedding cake
topped with a miniature bridal couple was cut by bride and bridegroom.
Mrs. Reeder has been employed at the
J. C. Penney company at Twin Falls.
After a short wedding trip, Mr. and
Mrs. Reeder will return July 10 to make their home on a farm north of Filer.
Myrtle Stella (Carrington) Reeder,
Charles’s mother (recipe card):
Marshmallow Salad
½ c milk
¼ tsp dry mustard
4 egg yolks
Juice of 1 lemon
2 cup whipping cream whipped
1 can crushed pineapple 15 oz
1 lb miniature marshmallows
Boil together ½ cup milk to dry mustard.
Stir egg yolks into mixture fast until custard texture. Cool! Mix all together
very well. Keep in refrigerator overnight. Nuts may be added before serving.
This is a good salad for Christmas or Thanksgiving.
 |
Recipe served at Charles and Helen Reeder's wedding reception |
Wanda Coleen Lee, daughter: This was
what they served in hollowed out half oranges at Mom and Dad's wedding
reception. I remember my Mom fixing this many times for special occasions like
it says for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners.
After a brief honeymoon, Charles and
Helen returned to Idaho. Charles returned to work on the farm and Helen settled
into married life. She likely continued her work at J.C. Penney’s until the
birth of their first child, Raymond Charles, on January 16, 1945. On February
6, only 3 weeks later, Charles was assigned to wartime duties in Glacier National
Park, Montana. But Helen wasn’t without help. Her mother moved to Idaho that
same year.
Helen Reeder: In 1945, [Ada]
sold that place [in Hesston, Kansas] and moved to Filer, Idaho. In Idaho, Ada
worked in the bean warehouse sorting beans, cleaned offices, and did whatever
work she could get. Then Lois got sick with rheumatic fever, so Ada with the
two youngest children, Harold and Lois, moved to Phoenix, Arizona.
Charles Reeder: In 1945,
I was assigned to Glacier National Park to serve in Civilian Public Service.
Transferred to the Veteran’s Hospital at Roseburg, Oregon, 1946.
World War II ended on September 2,
1945, but Charles’s wartime duties continued. Their second child, Ronald Gene,
was born on June 8, 1946. Charles was transferred to Veteran’s Mental Hospital
in Roseburg, Oregon, and he was then released on August 21, 1946.
A.S. Imirie, Executive Officer, Camp Operations,
National Headquarters Selective Service System: This will
certify that Charles William Reeder, Order No. 10869, Local Board No. 2, Twin
Falls County, Buhl, Idaho, has been released from present active participation
in work of national importance under civilian direction at CFS Camp No. 151,
Roseburg, Oregon, effective Aug. 21, 1946 for the reason that he has completed
his required period of active participation in work of national importance
under civilian direction.
Charles returned to Idaho and returned
to farm work.
Charles Reeder: [In] 1947,
I went to work for a farmer at Filer, Chas. Zach.
 |
Four generations Helen with her mother, her grandfather, and her first two children, 1947 |
 |
Helen with her mother and all ten of her siblings, 1947 |
On September 26, 1948, their third child,
and first daughter, Doris Elaine, was born.
 |
Helen and Ron, around 1950 |
Charles Reeder: [In] 1953,
[I] started farming for myself at Kimberly, Idaho.
Their fourth child, Harold Arlan, was
born on July 8, 1953. Their fifth child, Merlin Royce, was born on August 20,
1954. Their sixth and final child, Wanda Coleen, was born on March 26, 1958.
 |
Charles, Helen, and all six kids, 1958 |
Their life on the farm, now as a
family of eight, continued on in Idaho for several more years, in much the same
way as it had since they’d arrived. But then, at the turn of the decade, everything
changed. For the children, the decision was shocking and abrupt.
Charles Reeder: [In] 1960,
we moved to Washington State.
There was more to it than that.
Ron Reeder, son: [We moved
in] January 1960. There had been a church disagreement, a new church was formed
and they were part of the new church. But the stated reason was that Mom wanted
her children to go to a Christian school, as she did starting in high school. The
King’s Garden School Choir came through Idaho on tour the year before we moved,
which is how she was familiar with them and why (probably) they came to Seattle
to look for a new place to live. Unsaid was the fact that the farming was not
going well and they needed to make some kind of change to survive.
Charles and Helen packed up all their
belongings and their six kids and found a new home in Mountlake Terrace, a suburb of
Seattle, Washington. They were 35 and 36 years old when they uprooted
themselves. They left the Mennonite Church behind. They left Idaho and the farm
behind. They left the entire world they had grown up in behind. They did not,
however, leave all of the livestock behind.
Ron Reeder, son: [We brought
along] one horse, a mustang named Lady we had raised since she was a colt so young
we fed her milk from a bottle when we first got her. She was probably 2-3 years
old when we moved. [And] a Jersey cow (name unknown). I think the cow was sold
in about a year. The horse they had for maybe 3-4 years, then gave her to my
Dad’s sister, Elanor, who had a farm down near Roseburg, Oregon.
The family settled into their new life
in the suburbs, in a place that must have felt almost like another planet after
a life spent on Mennonite farms. All six children started classes at King’s
Garden, a private Christian school in Shoreline, Washington. Without the farm,
Charles and Helen had to find new ways to provide for their family.
Ron Reeder, son: Dad first
worked for Ostrom’s Mushroom Company. His job was to go to local stables and
pick up horse manure and take it back to the Mushroom Company. They would
spread it in dark buildings, and in it grow the mushrooms you and I eat. Through
that job, he got weekend work cleaning stalls at one of the stables.
He did that for a short time and then
Ray and I took over that, worked weekends cleaning stalls and brought the money
home to help support the family. Ray had just turned 14 when we moved here. In
Idaho, you could get a “daylight only” driving license at 14, so Ray drove on
that license until he turned 16 and got a Washington license. He would drive us
to the stable, we would clean the stalls, and then I remember we would be there
all day on Saturday. Don’t remember about Sunday because we always had to be in
church on Sunday.
After Ostrom’s, Dad got a job at a
furniture factory making furniture legs. He worked at the furniture factory for…I
think months, not years. I remember he made $1.00 per hour.
Mom, meanwhile, was a homemaker, but
realized very quickly that the minimum wage jobs Dad was getting were not going
to provide a private school education for 6 kids.
She found out that King’s Garden where
we all went to school was in need of a bookkeeper (her skill). The pay was only
$.50 an hour, but all employees’ children received tuition at no charge. Mom
applied for the job and for the next 10? years, was the school bookkeeper.
 |
Helen working at King's Garden, 1963 |
Once again, the skills she had picked
up when she helped her father sell meat door-to-door were paying off. But even
with both parents working, they had a hard time making ends meet.
Travis Reeder, grandson: Dad told me
some story about when he was a kid, [Grandma] being so concerned about money
growing up that she would enter raffles to win things like dish soap.
Hal Reeder, son: Tough
financial times come and go for most families. The creativity that facilitates
getting through those times, often require outside of the box thinking and risk
taking. Growing up as one of six children, laundry was a big part of keeping
our family smelling clean and everyone dressed up for school and church.
There was a time when my mother had
run out of laundry soap and money. The laundry was stacking up and the smell
was turning from gray to blue. Being the good ex-Mennonite she was, she prayed
for laundry soap. Why wouldn’t she? God answered her prayer with a 25 lb. box
of laundry soap and it was a miracle. Now wait, there are a couple of ways to
look at this miracle and how God answered her prayer. You tell me where the
miracle came into play.
Mom, listening to the radio and
praying about the finances, the lack of laundry soap, heard an advertisement by
a local appliance store. This store was so proud of their washing machines that
they would even do a load of laundry for you and those who brought in a load of
laundry would be entered into a drawing for a 25 lb. box of laundry soap.
Now before I go any further, I should
say this is a true story.
My mom, of course, being frugal as
they come, packed up the most critical laundry needs and headed to the store
about five miles away. The sales person, true to the advertisement, did Mom’s load
of laundry but was unsuccessful in selling her a new washing machine. Mom was
entered into the drawing and won the laundry soap. It was a miracle.
Now who was the marketing genius
behind this promotion? I mean, seriously, how many people other than my mother
brought in dirty laundry to the appliance store? Think about it. How many other
people were in the drawing?
I think there is more than one miracle
here. The first one, of course, is the award-winning marketing campaign of
doing dirty laundry. I am not positive but I have the feeling a professional
advertising company was left out of this great plan. For someone to actually
think this could work is a miracle.
The second miracle is that my mother
had the courage to load up her laundry and lug it into the local appliance
store. Her most critical laundry needs were met that day. A miracle?
The third miracle was that someone
actually paid money for radio time to run such an ad and they probably paid to
have it run more than once for my Mom to hear it. Then, of course, there is the
miracle of the drawing–imagine the staggering odds.
Now when I reflect on this story, I
think there is one more miracle. And that is that God cared about a woman with
six kids who needed some laundry soap and that makes me smile with gratitude.
One thing I have learned: when you are His, whatever it is you are going
through—it’s from Him.
 |
Helen, Charles and their six kids, 1966 |
Despite everything that had
changed since the family left the farm, a few things remained constant: their belief in the value of hard work, their
faith, and their love of music.
Wanda Coleen Lee, daughter: When I was
a child, Mom used to play piano in the evenings, and sing these old hymns. Both
my mother and father were raised in the Mennonite communities. I remember how
when we would visit our relatives, and attend church with them, they had no
instruments, and all the singing was a cappella. 4-part harmonies! Wow! I
remember, as a child, listening to their robust singing and their amazing
harmonies. It truly was sooo beautiful! For me, it was a musical and sacred
delight.
Mom told me…that my Great Grandpa Levi
Miller, who was a pastor, used to travel to the different Mennonite communities
teaching them how to read music, so they could sing the different parts. A
piece of my history—what a treasure!
Helen made sure to pass on the skills that she had learned from her mother to her own children.
Wanda Coleen Lee, daughter: Mom taught
me many things. She taught me to sew at a very early age. A quilt that she had
Merle and I sew for a summer project. Her and I have worked on several quilts
together through the years. Pleasant memories for me. She taught me how to do embroidery,
and how to crochet, which I love both to this day. She was a good cook, and
cooking was one of her Joys! She passed on her love for cooking, but also
taught me amazing skills in how to prepare meals from what you have.
She taught me how to cook from
scratch, cutting up a whole chicken, making homemade yeast bread and cinnamon
rolls, how to make a good pie! Etc., etc. These skills/tools were a real asset
when I was raising 7 children, that is for sure!
Elaine Sodenkamp, daughter: She taught
me to sew on a sewing machine when I was 9, making diapers out of flannel for
my baby sister. She gave me a sharp knife at the age of 10 and taught me how to
cut up a chicken. At age 10, she taught me to play the piano. I helped her can
fruits and vegetables and am still an avid canner today.
Wanda Coleen Lee, daughter: We had to
do chores when I was growing up. Although they were not fun at the time, this
helped me learn life skills, and also developed my work ethic through this.
Elaine Sodenkamp, daughter: She was
very creative and gave that gift to us all by her example.
 |
Helen at Ron's wedding, 1969 |
Starting in 1970, Helen’s first grandchildren
were born. She still had two kids at home, and now she had several
grandchildren as well, and she did her best to take care of all of them. Her
grandchildren adored her and loved every moment they got to spend with her.
They loved the food she made and the stories she told.
Jaime Cumming, granddaughter: Many
people will talk about Grandma’s cooking. I loved her cinnamon rolls.
Travis Reeder, grandson: She was
so bright. She remembered the red dust coming and settling on everything in the
house, and then selling butter with her dad to make ends meet. It was like
talking to a time traveler.
Brooke Haney, granddaughter: Her
storytelling was the best.
Her grandchildren loved pulling taffy
with her, and hearing her sing and play piano. They loved the weekends they spent
with their cousins at Grandma and Grandpa Reeder’s house.
Cristel Reeder, granddaughter: All I
remember with Grandma is that she is the sweetest, kindest lady I have ever met
in my entire life. She is a great teacher and always makes everyone feel welcome.
I remember her teaching me piano, how to make salt or sugar crystals, do
ceramics, and, of course, the porcelain dolls she had all over the house. [At]
her house, I found out what Tinker Toys were and what it was to be a family.
 |
Four Generations Charles and Helen with Charles' parents Ron and his wife, Connie, and their son, Chris |
 |
Charles and Helen with all six of their kids, mid-70s |
 |
Helen and Wanda, Christmas, around 1973 |
 |
Helen and grandson, Chris, around 1976 |
 |
Helen and Charles with five grandchildren, 1975 |
Meanwhile, Charles had found a new
career.
Charles Reeder: [In] 1978,
[I] started Chuck’s Appliance Service.
Ron Reeder, son: At some
church function, he met a man who worked for Conklin’s Appliance as a
repairman. He referred Dad there, and Dad was hired to deliver appliances. Conklin’s
soon realized Dad had mechanical aptitude and trained him to repair appliances.
He continued to do that for the rest of his life. Many years for Conklin’s and
then starting his own business, Chuck’s Appliance Repair.
 |
Charles and Helen, around 1980 |
With a little more money coming in, and their children all out of the house, in 1984, Charles
and Helen moved into a new home in Bothell, Washington. They
were also able to do something they had long wanted to do: travel. They bought
a little camper and towed it all over, visiting their families, who were now
spread across the country.
Brooke Haney, granddaughter: When I was
still little, Grandma and Grandpa got an RV. We kids loved to play in it. One
afternoon, when Grandma was babysitting all of us [Brooke and her siblings] and
Cristel, we had to take naps. Options were the RV, the guest bedroom, Grandma
and Grandpa's bedroom, etc. Everyone wanted the RV, but if we all napped in
there, no one would sleep, so we had to figure out how to share. We decided
that the little kids would get the RV, Cristel would sleep in the guest
bedroom, and Grandma let me set up a bed in the bathtub in the bathroom. I
wanted something special, I wanted to be weird and different, and she was
totally cool about it. I remember laying in that bathtub—didn't sleep at all,
thinking I totally got the best part of the deal.
 |
Charles and Helen, 1984, 40th wedding anniversary |
Helen remained close with all ten of her
siblings her entire life, especially her sisters. She visited whenever she
could, and when she couldn’t travel to see them, she still made sure to keep in
touch.
Ron Reeder, son: For as
long as I can remember, Mom and her siblings contributed to a “circle letter.”
Each sibling would write a letter to all the others and mail it to the next one
in line. Eleven letters, traveling in one envelope around the family. I don’t
know how long it took to circulate, but I know from time to time, Mom would
think it had been too long since she had seen it and would begin calling her
brothers and sisters to see if she could locate it.
Whenever Helen found something that
interested her, she never let a lack of knowledge on the subject stop her. She
let her curiosity be her guide, just as she would have back on the farm. She
made dolls and sewed clothes for them and helped her grandchildren do the same.
She bought a kiln and painted and fired pottery. She was always very interested
in genealogy (a trait common to many Mennonites) and researched and kept up
family trees for both her and her husband.
Wanda Coleen Lee, daughter: She was an
avid learner! I admired her for having the courage to learn new things. She
taught herself to play piano when she was a girl. She later paid for her
younger sister Lois to have piano lessons. In her 50s, she took swimming
lessons with her friend Aunty Izz. She also learned to paint porcelain in her
50s. Aunt Ruth got her started and they had some fun days together enjoying
this.
Chris Reeder, grandson: When I was
ten or twelve, somewhere around there, my Grandma taught herself how to do
pottery. She was always teaching herself. She painted and fired pottery, and
she painted these gorgeous flowers on plates, and she made dolls, and she
played piano, and I was always very impressed with how she just seemed to learn
anything she set her mind to. But when she taught herself pottery, I got to
spend a few days with her, and we made a chess set together. We chose the
pieces and painted them and glazed them and fired them together. Somewhere along
the way, years ago, I lost that chess set in some move or another, but I’ve
never forgotten those afternoons I got to spend with my Grandma.
Travis Reeder, grandson: When you
made the chess set, I made an owl mug. I think Mom still has it.
Brooke Haney, granddaughter: I have a
similar memory about making a doll with her. One year for my birthday, she gave
me the pieces of a "Little John doll" and the promise to help me make
him. First, I was given brushes, water and this mini-cast iron stove to
practice my brush strokes. I'm not sure how long I had to practice, maybe just
one day, maybe a few weeks. Then every week for months, I'd come to her house
and we'd paint a little and then put what we'd done in the kiln and fire it. It
was a lesson in art and patience. We saved the eyes for last, because they
would be the most difficult part. I loved those afternoons with her. Once
finished painting, we sewed his clothes. I remember her saying that if I could
learn to sew doll clothes, I could sew anything. Then we assembled him, and
were done.
When my family's house burned down
when I was in high school, I lost that doll. Grandma asked me if I would rather
have a doll she made for me or start from scratch and make one together again.
I said I'd rather make one together, knowing that I probably wouldn't have that
kind of time, but hoping I would. I didn't, and the pieces of that doll are
still sitting in a chest in my childhood bedroom. I spoke with Grandma a few
times over the past couple years about how I regretted not making the time for
that.
Jaime Cumming, granddaughter: When I was
around 6, Grandma painted me the most beautiful porcelain doll. It had a long dress,
lace, and all the beautiful things a young girl would want in a special doll.
Every day, I made my bed (ok most days) and I put it in the center of my
pillow. It was such a treasured gift from my Grandma. Years later, we had a
house fire and I lost the doll and all my things. My Grandma presented me with
an identical doll just like the one she had made me before. It was the one
thing that felt like I hadn’t actually lost it because it felt the same. It was
just a thing. Things come and go. But the generous and timely gesture moved my
heart. I felt so loved and cherished by my grandmother. She just knew how to
love well. AND how in the world did she remember exactly what it looked like
years later? Her mind was incredible!
And every once in a while, she still
found time to write.
Helen Reeder (published in The Enterprise--Once
Upon A Memory, November 25, 1987): A family of six children is considered
too large by today’s standards. But there are certain compensations, such as
family get-togethers that are great fun! Through the years, we tried to teach
our children that “Christmas is for sharing.” Then came a year that the concept
was tested.
It was the year the lights were going out
in Seattle due to the depressed economy. Many were out of work. By now, our children
were all grown with young families. Our Christmas get-togethers always included
lots of food, fun, and the exchange of gifts. But this year, some of the “Daddys”
were unemployed and would be hard pressed to provide gifts for their own little
ones. How could they manage to also get gifts for the extended family?
“Perhaps we should give homemade gifts
this year.” But not all had the time to make items and even this would cost money
for supplies.
“Should we cancel the gift exchange?”
No, surely there was something we could do. Then we realized, although money
was scarce, yet all of us were “rich” and had more than enough. We each had
things we could share with others. We had items which others admired or things
that would be useful to others. We could choose something of our own to give to
another! It would be something desirable and in good condition. But no one
would spend money this year to buy a gift.
So, the ladies chose pretty
knick-knacks, vases, kitchen gadgets or scarves to give to the other. The men
found they had a tool or book or fishing lure that their brother or Dad could
use. The children drew names, then went to their own room or toy box and chose
a gift for their cousin.
What excitement there was when it came
time to open the gifts! Four-year-old Travis could hardly wait for his cousin,
Jesse, to open the toy he had brought because, “I can show you how it works.”
And even baby Brooke seemed to enjoy seeing her little cousin find the dolly
that she had brought for her. We discovered that giving of ourselves brings great
happiness.
The lights may have been going out in
Seattle, but that day in our home and hearts the light of love was shining
bright. It was one of our best Christmases ever!
As her grandchildren grew up and moved
out into the world, she always made sure to keep up with what they were doing.
Chris Reeder, grandson: When I
was twenty-three, I was working on a stage musical based on “Beowulf.” When my
Grandma heard about it, she looked around on the bookshelves at her house and
found a literature anthology that happened to include “Beowulf.” She sat down
and read it and then called to tell me what she thought of it. “It was good. I
enjoyed it, but it was a little too bloody for me.” For a girl who grew up on a
farm during the Depression, I could hardly believe that she had just read a
piece of literature that I struggled with, but also, that she had done so just
to share that small connection with me.
Brooke Haney, granddaughter: When [Chris and his wife and sister-in-law]
founded the Cincinnati Shakespeare Company, [he] would send Grandma [the]
brochures. She would read them, save them, and then give them to me. At the
time, I was just a kid who loved drama—no idea that I'd become a professional
actor too. Grandma saw the connection and encouraged it. Showed me I had family
that was doing it.
Years later, she told me that she was
pretty sure we got our acting bug from her. That she was quite shy, but had
written a play when she was younger. I asked to see it, and she sent it to me.
It was a Bible play, for her church, I think.
And she still spent as much time as
she could with her grandchildren who lived nearby.
Grace Hansen, granddaughter: What I
cherished so much was her spirit, how sweet and humble she was. You just don’t
have many people like that in this modern material world. Even in her old age,
she kept a childlike playful spirit.
There was a time when I was like 7 or
9, I’m not sure, we went to my elementary school and I was playing, of course,
and she went down the slide with me! And she was in her 80s. I spent a lot of
time with her growing up being that my parents divorced and my mom was in
nursing school. She was like a second mom. And I have a lot of good memories of
cooking/baking with her, talking with her and listening to all her stories that
I loved to hear how different things were. We built a snowman one time and she
always brought that up how much she cherished those times, the slide and the
snowman and when I was there.
I used to do her hair and makeup. I’d
brush her hair and put on blush when I was younger on her. It was so fun. We
used to watch movies together like Second Chances and Old Yeller. I loved it.
She was a very gentle spirit and always could find ways to laugh.
In 2003, Helen and Charles finally
gave up the house in Bothell and moved to a small
condo in Marysville, Washington.
As her grandchildren spread out across
the country, she wanted to try to find a better way to keep in touch with them
all. So she asked one of her children set up an old computer in her house.
Brooke Haney, granddaughter: Remember
when Grandma started "Grandma's Chat Room" as an email list? It was
such a lovely way that she helped keep all the grandkids connected, despite the
fact that we were spread all over the country.
Helen kept up Grandma’s Chat Room for
several years (complete with emoticons), encouraging her grandchildren to keep
in touch with her and each other.
Helen Reeder (email, November 19,
2007): Yes, this is Grandma Reeder finding a way to stay in touch with you
occasionally. So today I'm sending you our Warm Greetings for a wonderful
Thanksgiving Day this week… I've set up a list in my address book so I can send
mail to all of you at one time. Perhaps you will use these addresses, too, and
enjoy hearing from some of your cousins. I hope you will each find time to send
a message occasionally in return.
Grandpa and I are not planning on
going anywhere for Thanksgiving Day. What are your plans??? We are invited to
Wanda's for dinner the evening before, then we will have a nice quiet day on
Thursday. When you get as old as we are, you will understand that
"quiet" is very good! :-)
We are both feeling well. May your DAY
be pleasant, fun and filled with thanksgiving for the many blessings each of us
have been given by our Heavenly Father.
Helen Reeder (email, March 8, 2008): Hi all of
you busy people! Since I'm just "sitting around" a lot these days,
thought it was a good time to catch up on writing to all of you. Earlier this
week, I sprained my ankle so I'm resting it as much as I can. It is much better
today, but still swollen. Should be o.k. in a few more days…
I think it was 7 years ago that
Grandpa and I were in Colorado Springs and we found the house where I was born
in 1923. Someone is living in it still and it looked in good condition…
I've been thinking lately about all
the carpenters we have in our family. Rob is now working for a contractor and
says he is really enjoying it. Now Trav is working on his own house. And Chris
built many of the supports for the theatre plays he has been involved in. Then,
of course, there are Uncles Ray, Ron, Merle and even Hal has done a lot of the
work on his house.
Anyway, I thought you would all be interested
to know that building and creating is something you all have in your genes. My
Dad was a carpenter and his Dad before him (Peter Shetler, lived in Iowa and would
be your great-great-grandfather). He was a cabinet-maker and his specialty was
building coffins! Yes, coffins. I've been told that a "Shetler
Coffin" was considered top-of-line! :-) Now, don't you feel special?
Helen Reeder (email, October 11, 2008):
BRRR—it
has turned cold here already. It was 31 degrees at 7:30 this morning. So I've
been trying to "winterize" our yard. It seems a shame because some of
the potted plants are still blooming nicely but they are annuals and will not
survive the frost. The summer went by so fast. It seemed very short…
I had some membrane tissue removed by
laser from one eye this week. It only took about 5 minutes and virtually painless
but the improvement in my vision is tremendous! I've embarked on a cleaning
frenzy in my house the last couple days—had no idea it was so dirty! But the greatest
shock has been to see how wrinkled that old lady who looks back at me from the
mirror got just overnight! I will have the other eye done this next week. I'm
SO happy that something could be done to improve my eyesight. I thought it was
just old age and I was looking for a larger magnifying glass! But I don't need
one.
 |
Helen with grandson, Chris, in 2008
|
“Grandma’s Chat Room” eventually wound
down, but she still kept up with her family on Facebook well into her 90’s.
 |
Helen and Charles with Santa, 2013 |
As her grandchildren began having
their own children, she gave them advice, she offered them support, and she
shared her faith.
Jaime Cumming, granddaughter: My Grandma
loved Jesus. She told me she read the Bible once a year every year for most of
her life. After I had my first child and realized how fleeting time was, I was
challenged by this. I started reading my Bible cover to cover just like my
grandmother. I loved talking to her about Jesus. She loved him and she’d tell
me stories about what she was learning or times God had done miracles in her
life. She’d drive all the way to Snoqualmie for a church service when she could
still handle the long trips. She understood the pressure of a life in ministry
and she would encourage me.
I really struggled as a new mom. I was
a flat-out mess! Grandma somehow knew this. She just knew. She didn’t say, “oh,
I’ve heard you’re really losing it as a new mom.” Instead, Grandma shared with
me what having babies was like for her, how she was scared, how Grandpa
couldn’t be with her for 10 days, the challenges, the joys, and her stories
gave me grace. She loved me where I was at. I think I bawled my eyes out after
her story because it just felt good to have someone be honest with me about
what I was going through. I didn’t feel so alone.
The biggest, most influential part of Grandma’s
impact on me was her love for Jesus. I really looked up to her spiritual walk
with the Lord. She never seemed to waver and she showed me grace.
 |
Helen with great-grandson, Augie, 2014 |
Her first great-grandchild was born in 1997, and in the later years of her life, she took great delight
in spending time with her great-grandchildren whenever they were able to visit.
They called her Gigi. (For “GG”—"Great Grandmother”)
Chris Reeder, grandson: My
favorite memory of my grandmother was introducing her to my daughter, the
moment when Helen Elizabeth Reeder met Lenore Elizabeth Reeder.
When I called her to tell her about
the birth, I told her that everyone was doing fine and the birth had gone well
and then I said, “And her name is Lenore Elizabeth Reeder.” And my grandmother
paused for a moment and then she said, “Well, Elizabeth is my middle name too,
you know.” And I said, “I know, Grandma. We named her after you.” She didn’t
say much after that.
And then, the next year, I got to
introduce them to each other.
 |
Helen Elizabeth Reeder meets Lenore Elizabeth Reeder, 2016 |
Several of her six children had moved
away from Washington, but in her later years, four of them lived nearby. They
visited and assisted their parents however they could. Her son, Ron, took Helen
and Charles to breakfast at Fanny’s every Tuesday. Her son, Hal, visited every
week. Her daughter, Wanda, brought great-grandchildren to play.
 |
Charles and Helen with their great-grandson, Crosby. |
Charles had been in slow decline for
many years, with Helen as his patient, loving caretaker. He finally passed on
March 17, 2015. Their marriage lasted 70 years. From their farm in Idaho, to
their split with the Mennonite Church, to their move to Washington, to their
travels across the country. From raising six kids, to taking care of twenty-one
grandkids, to enjoying their time with thirty-one great-grandkids. For richer
and for poorer, for better and for worse, their devotion to each other was a marvel
to everyone who witnessed it.
 |
Helen with all three of her sisters, at Charles' memorial, 2015 |
After his passing, Helen revealed that
it was the first time that she had ever lived on her own. She’d moved directly
from her mother’s house to the apartment in Idaho, and from there, she was
married and moved in with Charles. At age 91, for the first time in her life,
she had no one to take care of but herself. By all reports, she greatly enjoyed
the freedom.
 |
Four Generations Helen and son, Ron, grandson, Chris, and great-grandchildren, Augie and Nori |
As time passed, eventually she needed
a little more help, and her daughter, Wanda, moved back in to help her. Her
son, Ron, continued to take her to breakfast at Fanny’s every week and recorded this memory a year after
his father’s passing:
Ron Reeder, son: Mom and I
went for breakfast at Fanny's Restaurant, a place she and Dad had visited once
or more a week for the last ten years. In his honor, I had the pancakes and
link sausage, the breakfast Dad always ordered.
After breakfast, we took a drive up to
the Skagit Valley to look at the flowers, remember Dad, and remark about the
things we saw that we knew he always enjoyed: old farm equipment, miniature
donkeys, a dilapidated barn, the vista of open farm land. It was a very good
day, remembering and celebrating Dad.
Mom, I had a wonderful time sharing the
day with you. I think you are perhaps the most strong, remarkable, persistent,
patient, person I have ever known. You have been an example I can only hope to
emulate. Thank you for sharing yesterday with me. I had a great time with you. I
love you more than you can possibly know!
In her final years, she still loved to
cook, especially for others. She enjoyed doing sudoku. She loved flowers. She
had the most brilliant smile and the most infectious laugh, right up until her
very last days. And she still relied on her faith.
Wanda Coleen Lee, daughter: She loved
to read, and read books up to her last days. The greatest gift she passed
on to me, though, was her faith, and her close relationship and love for her
God. She read her Bible every day, sometimes in her latter years for hours. She
attended her Sunday TV church and I would get her donuts for church day
sometimes!
I remember her telling me many times
how delighted she was to still be able to learn and discover new things about
God, even after all these years! We had many moments in our day, or evening
before bed, where we would share with each other how God had revealed himself
in our day. God was a constant source for her of comfort, joy, and guidance.
More than anything, she loved the
chance to spend with her family, to talk to her family, to find out news about
family members, to hear how every single child, grandchild, or great-grandchild
was doing. She was proud of them all. Every single one. Her life, in so many
ways, was defined by her devotion to family, and this was true from the
beginning all the way to the end.
 |
Helen with great-granddaughter, Charlie Ray. |
Chris Reeder, grandson: When I
was forty-nine, just a couple months ago, my Grandma called me because she
remembered that it was my wedding anniversary and she wanted to make sure to
congratulate me.
Brooke Haney, granddaughter: For the
past several years, I have made an effort to call Grandma approximately every
month. Through those calls, I got the joy of her laugh and her stories and
feeling connected to her despite the distance between us.
Some things that came up every time
were how grateful she was to have so much family nearby—what a blessing it was
that Wanda stayed with her, Uncle Ron took her to breakfast and grocery shopping
every week, my dad visited on Tuesday nights, etc. She always mentioned Braeden
and what a blessing she was to come over every Wednesday with the great-grandbabies.
She'd tell me of when family would
visit from out of town and how nice that was for her that we'd make sure to
spend time with her. Had I heard Chris wrote another book? She was so proud of
the grandkids who were out in the world doing their thing.
She passed on the songs of her youth.
Jaime Cumming, granddaughter: I have a
special children’s book my Grandma made. It has art and music in it all written
and designed by her and her sisters. She was so creative.
She still traveled when she could.
Lydia Reeder, granddaughter: One time,
we went on a trip to see Aunt Wanda’s place in Chelan, and my Dad and Step-Mom
Marti drove us, and I stayed in a hotel room with Grandma. It was nice to share
a room with her, sometimes it was funny though, because she couldn’t find the
right hotel room number and elevator, but I was glad to help her around, like
going on the elevator downstairs to eat breakfast the next morning. She was just
really sweet and had cool stories about her growing up.
She was always generous with her time
and her memories, which only faltered at the very end of her life.
 |
Helen walking with her great-grandson, Crosby. |
Grace Hansen, granddaughter: Towards
the end, at times where she would be so forgetful, where normally someone would
get frustrated, she would laugh and say, “You gotta learn to laugh at yourself,
‘cause if you don’t, you'll have a horrible time.”
Brooke Haney, granddaughter: When I was
home this most recent time, Grandma gave me two of her dolls that had fallen
apart: a "Big John" doll and a girl doll (which was what I'd really
always wanted). All the pieces were there, the little clothes, but the elastic
that held them together had worn out and they were just sitting in a box. She'd
meant to put them back together again, but her arthritis had gotten so bad and
she'd not gotten around to it. She said that maybe I could put them together
and then it would be like we'd made them together. She showed me the kind of
elastic I'd needed to find, gave me a lesson on how to do it and the tool to do
it with, and that was it. And the last time I saw her in person.
LaVerne (Shetler) Horst, sister: She told
me recently that she doesn’t feel at home in this world anymore. Things are so
different. I too feel much the same way. So now I can rejoice with her. Someday
soon I’ll see her again.
Wanda Coleen Lee, daughter: These last
few years, she was fascinated by clouds and stars. She told me, "Someday
God will take me there. I wonder what do they look like when you are in their midst?"
Brooke Haney, granddaughter: In the
past year or so, when I'd ask how she was doing she'd say, "Well, Brooke,
I'm getting old.” (And she'd laugh.) “I'm about ready to go, I think. I've done
about all I need to do here."
Wanda Coleen Lee, daughter: She
yearned for heaven in her last days. She told me, “When I die, tell them this: One
of these days, you will be told that I died. Well, don't believe a word of it! I'll
be more alive than ever!" Billy Graham—a favorite she shared with me
recently.
Ron Reeder, son: The circle
letter had arrived in Marysville about a week before she died. When I cleaned
her desk last week, I found it. She had a draft started but had not completed
it.
Wanda Coleen Lee, daughter: Momma, did
those big fluffy clouds you loved gently carry you away? Did the bright stars
illuminate the dark sky and accompany you to the heavens? When you opened your
eyes as you awoke, did you finally look into the eyes of your Savior? Oh momma,
how did it feel to be embraced by your Heavenly Father? I can only imagine what
it was like.
Ron Reeder, son: On her
97th birthday, Mom had a strawberry waffle to celebrate at Fanny’s restaurant.
Hard to believe she’s gone.
 |
Helen, on her 97th birthday, 2020 |
 |
Enjoying a strawberry waffle at Fanny's for her 97th birthday, 2020 |
Only two weeks after her 97th
birthday, Helen Reeder lost her life in a tragic accident. She died on August 29,
2020.
She was preceded in death by her husband of 70 years, Charles, and her
brothers, Leland, Ralph, and Walter.
She is survived by her sisters LaVerne,
Ruth, and Lois, by her brothers, Floyd, Eldon, Paul, and Harold, by her children,
Ray, Ron, Elaine, Hal, Merle, and Wanda, by twenty-one grandchildren and thirty
great-grandchildren.
Her life was defined by family and by
faith, by love and by loss, by hardships and by triumphs, by patience and devotion.
She was always learning. She was always
curious. She was always thinking of others.
From her childhood in Colorado, to
growing up on a farm in Kansas during the Depression, to becoming a provider
for her family at the age of sixteen, to her marriage in Idaho, to her break
with the Mennonite Church, to her new beginning raising her children in the suburbs,
to all the love and wisdom and humor she showered upon her dozens of
grandchildren and great-grandchildren, through it all, she persevered with
humor and with grace.
Hers was a remarkable journey.
Helen Elizabeth (Shetler) Reeder,
August 14, 1923-August 29, 2020.
Hers was a remarkable life.